Accidents Happen--Pillow

Restless nights ahead

Guilt streams through the mind and soul

Free the dark conscience.

 

 

I tend to wake up every night around the same time, since the accident. I wake up from the same dream, a recollection of what happened that night. If I just hadn't of let her get into the car, if I hadn't pressured her into going, everything would be okay. These thoughts came into my head over and over, non-stop through out the day. Everyone at school walked by me as if they felt sorry, the weary stares all down the hallway, while I walked to class. It was agonizing, but this was my life now.

 

A Friday night, my friend and I went to go hangout with a few people. It ended up being a  more hard core kind of party. My best friend and I were hungry, so we wanted Taco Bell. I didn't have a car at the time, so I begged her to take us. All of these people were around when this was going on, but didn't stop us. She had told me no numerous times because she didn't think it was safe for her to drive in the condition she was in. I told her she seemed fine, and I pleaded for us to go. She finally told me that she could go. We got into her car, and she started up the engine to go. The drive was smoothe on the way there, we had gotten our food and we were on our way back. There was a two way stop on the way back, and we had stopped at the stop sign, but my best friend must not have seen or been able to comprehend that there was a car speeding through and they T-boned us pretty severely. It made the car spin and eventually we hit a pole. All I remember was waking up in a helicopter, a bright light was above me and then I must have fallen back into unconsciousness.

 

When I woke back up, my mother was sitting right by my side and I asked her what had happened. She had told me that a man t-boned us and that we had hit a pole and the pole had came down on the car, just missing me, but hitting my best friend. She had to me that my friend died at the site of the accident and didn't even make it to the hospital. That night it was rough, I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't. I just kept thinking it was my fault and that I shouldn't have made her drive.

 

Whenever I got back to school, everyone came up to me to check on me and to give me their condolences. The first day was the hardest and I couldn't stay for the full day. As I came back it got easier and easier.

 

I don't think that the guilt from that night will go away soon, but it does take time.